Thursday, April 28, 2011

Playwrights Project Scene 1 for Feedback



Joseph B.

per. 4

4/21/11

Why Me?


Characters: Demetri Douglas Ybarra - Mexican, 9 yrs. old, short black hair, heavyset, independent, also known as D

Elizabeth Rose - Beautiful, White, D’s mother,


Dr. Jeffer - Deep voice, almost apologetic

Rosa - foster mother of Demetri, not a major character, Mexican lady, in her 30’s, red and black hair.


Officer Greg - White male, in his uniform, black facial hair, 5’11, deep voice

Setting: In the living room, it’s about 3:30 p.m., sunny day
At Rise: D is at the door just about to enter from school as the phone rings. he is wearing his backpack and after hears the phone rushes to the phone. The living room is one of the biggest rooms of the house.
Background: D’s father has been in the hospital due to his cancer. D has a close relationship with his father and is upset that mother Elizabeth wont let D see his dad. Elizabeth won’t let him visit his father because he is just getting worse and she doesn’t want D to see him looking like that. This does cause a bit of conflict, but is the best for everyone.

D:

[D is on the other side of the door. There is a sound of keys and as D is opening the dorr the phone rings. ]

Oh snap!

[D runs through the door rushing to the phone.]

Hello?

Dr. Jeffer:

[Has a deep, apologetic tone to his voice.]

Hello is this the Ybarra residence? This is Dr. Jeffer.

D:

[Confused look on his face]

Oh yes, yes sir. This is D, Mr. Ybarra is my dad. How is he doing? Is he o.k.?
Dr. Jeffer

[Same voice]

Well, actually that is what I called to talk to talk about. But, is there anyone else I can talk to? Your gaurdian or someone along those lines, because you do know information about a patient is confidential.

D

No, but I am his son sir.

Dr. Jeffer

Well son, I am so sorry to tell you this, but your father past about five minutes ago. Please notify your mother and again son I apologize for your loss.

D

[In awe, and then blows up and throws the phone. The phone complete shatters and a piece cuts his arm.]

No!
Dr. Jeffer

[sympathetic, but not able to finish his sentence.]

Wai...............

D

[Angry, he doesn’t like to cry, but since no one wherre a couple tears rolled down his cheeck.]

No! Why? God, why? Dad I love you, don’t die please don’t die...

[Wipes his tears and sits on the couch]

God why did you take my father away from me? Huh? You have no reason I want him, I miss him already!

[He stands up, his blood smeared with blood and tears. D grabs his backpack and storms to his room.]


THIRTY MINUTES LATER...


Elizabeth

[She just came home from work, exhausted. Then she walks in to his room with D sitting on his bed with a blank stare]

D! D are you home? D? Oh hey, I guess you heard?

D

Why mom, why? I couldn’t at least see him once?

Elizabeth

He was just getting worse sweetie, I didn’t want you to see him like that.

D

[Angy tone in his voice]

That’s my dad, I think I am old enough to choose if I want to see him! He’s dead now mom! Dead....

Elizabeth

Don’t raise your voice at me son it was for your own good! We all are suffering of your father’s loss!

D

[Left the room after he spoke]

Well now he’s gone Mom, but at least you got to see him right?

Elizabeth

[she sinks her head into her arms and cries.]







What could I add to this scene to make it better?
More details
More dialogue
Less details
Less dialogue
Any more suggestions? Please comment my post!
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Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Testing Tips, Strategies, and Plays Reflection


I am super nervous about the CST's that everyone has to take. Although I know many steps and ways to answer a question I don't know, I think there will be too many questions that like that in History and Biology. I hope I do well in English, and I know I will do well in Math. If there was a way to study I would, but I hope I just don't stress out during the tests. Other than that everything is O.K. I will try my hardest and do as best as I can do, what else can I do?

"Testing Tagul."

ImageChef Word Mosaic - ImageChef.com

"Testing Tagul."

ImageChef Word Mosaic - ImageChef.com

Monday, April 18, 2011

My Feelings about the Upcoming CSTs


I know California State Testing is big test for a student and their school. They are BIG and SCARY! I'm my previous tests I always scored high in mathematics. I was always above in English, and I am not afraid for this year's test. This year I am worried about the science portion of these tests. I don't think I have prepared myself all year as I have all my other classes. I know these test scores are looked at when applying for colleges, but I hope that I do good on all of them. I am very nervous, but maybe I can do something to prepare myself.

Free Choice Blog Post


Judging is done daily by everyone. A person's first response to an incident is to judge based on that incident. I'm not saying that this is good or bad, but why not just take it for what it is? Judging can cause a perception to be the total opposite of the actual fact. To good or bad. Although, people's jobs are to judge. For example, judges, jury, etc. So, even though it is necessary sometimes judging should not occur all the time. It can break or create wrong friendships. So try not to determine if something is good or bad, but move on and see the whole circumstance.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Playwrights Project Inspired by Music Paragraph


In Ms. Priester’s class today, Mrs. Olivia had the whole class listen to music to help inspire us to write a play write scenario. At first, I thought it would be weird and awkward, but it ended up being different. While listening to the music, I closed my eyes. While I was writing, I compared the music's tone to a real life occurrence basing it to the music. Afterward, I felt as if my play would be great and the music influence was a great idea. Using music to inspire creative writing was a wonderful experience and had a great impact on my work.